The Solution

Relationship Discussions & Advice with Columnists Lady Lucille

Question: My fiance and I have been engaged for a year and our wedding is set for next year. In all we have been together for 6yrs. Throughout our dating history we have been inseparable. Now he keeps making references to being in need of some space. Should I consider this a red flag? Could he be having some doubts about committing to forever?

Answer: First off let me tell you that space is never a bad thing. Is it possible that he is having second thoughts? Of course it is. But, is it indicative and absolute? No, of course not. In a relationship, "me time" and "space" are healthy facets. An individual needing some breathing room is normal. You stated that over your 6yrs of dating you all have been inseparable. Well ask yourself, was that a mutual choice? Were you all inseparable because neither of you wanted to do things separately or because one of you insisted on being coupled up ALL THE TIME? In 6 years has he had no "guy time" and you no "girl time"? If that has been the case then I advise you both to take a step back and revisit who you are outside of this relationship.

Your mates request for "SPACE" is not a crisis, but an opportunity that you should both take advantage of. As a partner, you should be secure enough to allow your mate time away from you without it being an avenue to drama. In getting an opportunity for "me time" you should get reconnected with yourself and your own circle of friends provided that you have a circle outside of him. Which, by the way, you should. The most important thing that you can do for your relationship is maintain a healthy sense of self; know how to be both an individual and a partner.

Space prior to nuptials is a good thing. Getting space allows you both to re-evaluate and be certain that the person you are engaged to is truly who you want forever after to be with, as opposed to just going along with the expectations of the situation. Know that just because an engagement has taken place doesn't mean that a marriage has to happen. Ultimately it is better to allow for the time and space than it is for either of you to feel forced into a binding commitment that you are secretly re-thinking. Allowing room for this makes it that much more likely that when you are at the altar, "I do" is "I do" and not "I think I do".

Lady Lucille

Send Your Relationship Question(s) to Lady Lucille!
P.O. Box 3032 Cordova, TN 38088-3032
-or via email-
info@experienceambiance.com

*Comments and opinions made and associated with "The Solution" are not necessarily the thoughts and opinions of Ambiance Special Events, it's employees, or vendor affiliates.