How to say NO kids at your wedding

Ambiance Real Wedding
Robert E Holley Productions 

Whether or not to have kids at the wedding is a big decision! It has become more common for couples  to decide against having children at their celebrations. Some couples are even forgoing a flower girl and ring bearer as part of the wedding party. A few Ambiance couples shared that meal costs for kids is one factor for the decision; but also not worrying about censored music, accidents with alcohol, or taking over the dance floor, as others reasons. 

What I hear them saying is that parents don't always do a great job of parenting during a wedding. But that is another story for another day. 

So how do you say it? How do you say no thank you to children for your big day? 

TECH-NI-CALLY, it is poor etiquette to print "No Children" or "Adults Only" on your invite. One should simply address the invitation to the person or persons being invited. For instance, if your formal invitation is addressed to Mr and Mrs John Doe, then it is for grown ups only. Addressing an invitation to The Doe Family or Mr and Mrs Doe, John and Sarah Doe, would indicate that the entire family is invited.

The proper way to handle a guest that has mistakenly RSVP'd for more persons than the number you've allowed, is for the wedding host ( you or a parent) to call, gently remind them the invite was only for (insert number or names), that you hope this isn't too much of an inconvenience and hope they'll still be able to attend; but understand if they can not. 

Again, I say this is proper etiquette. Twerk and Binge-watch are also words that have been recently added to the dictionary, so I get it when you roll your eyes because it seems like another hassle... I know. The etiquette is truly centered in knowing the guests you are inviting. You should know and be decently familiar with your guest list. Being able to pick up the phone shouldn't be awkward.

Clearly, you can see how we've evolved into printing decrees for all to read and obey. Frankly, in the words of Sweet Brown..."Ain't nobody got time for that!" I tell my clients the proper way and allow them to decide for themselves. The Ambiance bride is typically a working one, so I understand and support her choice for having fifteen less phone calls on her to do list.

Printed or not, if no kids in the right choice for your wedding day, just be prepared to stand firm in that choice. The big girl panties must be pulled up tight...like spanx...no exceptions! Understanding fully that it may mean a near and dear friend/family member may not be able to make it. Don't make this decision lightly, because the only thing worse would be to allow even one person an exception, when others made the sacrifice. There will be whispers...and shaming. 

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